Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid of Dining Alone

If I could tell you how many times I’ve been stared at by curious servers and diners for walking into restaurants to enjoy a meal alone, I would. It’s not uncommon to see the oh-so slight pauses from servers when I ask for a table for one—this is the stigma one faces when they simply want to dine alone in restaurants.

I started eating alone at various restaurants when I was about 16. The looks of pity from diners and servers I sometimes get really aren’t needed; there are a few reasons why I, and others, would dine alone. It could be out of the desire to go out and finally try that new restaurant I’ve planned to visit. It could be because friends are busy or they dislike eating sushi or Indian food. Perhaps my plans got cancelled, but I still want to go out. Or really, the reason could simply be that I am hungry and I need to eat.

Most of the time, these possibilities are disregarded. A lone diner is often perceived as lonely or someone to pity. This makes sense considering that dining is considered a social event—after all, humans are naturally social and crave interaction. But that doesn’t mean all solo diners fit these shallow perceptions. Usually, we’re just hungry and feel like going out and we’re okay with doing it alone. Our own company is enough to have a good time.

Not many Canadians dine alone though. An article from The Globe and Mail writes that the NPD Group, which tracks the restaurant behaviour of 100,000 Canadians annually, reported that 10 per cent of those Canadians ate alone at sit-down restaurants between August 2010 and August 2011. They were mostly simple lunches, usually without alcohol.

It’s not surprising then to say that going out alone spurs fear and insecurity for some people. To deflect perceptions of being lonely or “strange”, people may text or browse obsessively on their phones. When you are completely comfortable and confident in yourself, others’ judgments mean little. If you truly enjoy your own company and learn to see and do things solo, it’s a liberating experience.

Spending time alone challenges you to make your own decisions and thoughts on your experience. Without someone by your side, it’s up to you to decide what you want to do or how you feel about things. You learn more about yourself and how you perceive things around you when you’re alone. Being alone can help you meet new people and gain opportunities you might have not encountered before. You eventually learn that it’s okay to go somewhere or do something on your own without the agreement of friends—there’s no need to rely on them anymore to do something you’re interested in.

So, if you ever find yourself dining alone, take your time and enjoy your meal. Pay attention to the presentation, the wafting aromas, the textures and the bursting flavours that finally touch your tongue to quench your hunger pains. Enjoy the freedom to eat whatever you want and how much you want without being forced to listen to someone’s work gripes or relationship problems. Enjoy the buzz of people’s conversations but listen to your own thoughts.

This is a chance to really get to know your meal and yourself. Embrace it. It’s a good thing. 

Written by: Java N.